Because All Content Deserves To Go Viral.

Time To Panic: Aiden Did His Book Report Super Fast And Now One Of Us Has To Go Before Class Ends

Entering The Fray: Led Zeppelin Has Reunited To Release A Diss Track Aimed At Drake

Major Breakthrough: Medical Researchers Just Announced That A 400-Pound Child Simply Ain’t Right

Incredible: Bethesda Revealed That ‘Fallout 76’ Will Show What Earth Would Be Like If The Arizona Diamondbacks Hadn’t Won The 2001 World Series

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding Bethesda’s newly announced game Fallout 76, but we now have one crucial piece of information about the hotly anticipated title. The game will be set in an alternate history where we get to see what the world would look like if the Arizona Diamondbacks did not win the 2001 World Series.

9/20/19

1:55 PM

Completing The Tribute: The U.S. Government Has Finally Finished Constructing The 30-Foot Barber That's Cutting Lincoln’s Hair In The Lincoln Memorial

9/20/19

1:50 PM

Awesome: Home Depot Is Now Selling An Incredibly Weak Pepper Spray You Can Use On People Who Are Annoying But Not Dangerous

9/18/19

1:10 PM

Major Security Crisis: The Rooster That’s Loose In The White House Is No Longer Afraid Of The Jack-O’-Lantern President Trump Put Outside The Oval Office To Scare It Away

9/16/19

1:20 PM

Extremely Unhelpful: This Poster For A Missing Child Features Nothing But A Close-Up Photo Of The Kid’s Eyeball

9/13/19

11:25 AM

Corporate Disaster: The CEO Of Trojan Held A Press Conference With His 300 Children To Issue An Urgent Recall On All Trojan Condoms

9/12/19

2:00 PM

Major Setback: NASA Has Cancelled Plans To Go To Mars Because They Can't Find Anything Cute To Wear

9/4/19

3:20 PM

Major Mishap: Colorado Just Tried Restoring Voting Rights To 30,000 Felons But Accidentally Gave Jared Fogle The Right To Vote 30,000 Times Instead

8/26/19

1:30 PM

UPDATED ALERT: Okay, Got Her Back. She Was Just Buying A Pepsi. Just Forget It, We’re All Good Now.

8/26/19

1:25 PM

UPDATED ALERT: Hold On, She’s Gone Again. We Looked Away For One Second And Now She’s Gone.

8/26/19

1:15 PM

ALERT: This 16-Year-Old Girl Is Believed To Be Missing, Please Be On The Lookout For A—Oh Wait, She’s Right Here, Nevermind

8/22/19

1:05 PM

Nature’s Perfect Design: Scientists Believe That Studying Woodpeckers Could Totally Revolutionize The Way We Bash Trees Apart With Our Heads To Find Bugs

8/21/19

1:00 PM

‘Just Look At It, There’s No Way That’s Healthy’: The American Medical Association Has Announced That Our Bodies Definitely Shouldn’t Be Producing Feces

8/15/19

3:05 PM

Efficiency Win! All The Major Fried Chicken Chains Have Collectively Agreed To Start Selling Fried Pelican Instead Of Chicken Because They Can Just Find Pelicans For Free Outside

8/14/19

11:35 AM

Efficiency Win! The Dalai Lama Has Announced That His Dentist’s 30-Year-Old Son Is The Reincarnation of Him And Should Just Take Over As Dalai Lama After He Dies

8/13/19

12:30 PM

An ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape Of His Own: A Decade-Old Recording Just Leaked Of Bernie Sanders Telling Billy Bush That He Hates Sexual Intercourse Because There Are Too Many Odors

8/8/19

2:00 PM

Incredible Breakthrough: Researchers At The Mayo Clinic Have Successfully Switched A Man With A Moose

7/24/19

9:00 AM

Ruthless Recruitment Tactics: ISIS Is Offering New Members A Free Canvas Tote Bag When They Join For A Year

7/18/19

9:30 AM

The Master At Her Canvas: Mom Just Brought In A Pretty Average-Looking Rock From The Woods That She Says She Will Use In A ‘Project’

6/14/19

2:50 PM

National Security Crisis: President Trump’s New Ponytail Is Stuck In The White House Fax Machine After He Tried To Fax An Image Of It To Xi Jinping To Make Him Jealous

6/13/19

1:15 PM

Incredible Breakthrough: MIT Scientists Have Successfully Swapped The Brain Of A Man With An Almond

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