The Inventory

Because All Content Deserves To Go Viral.

Time To Panic: Aiden Did His Book Report Super Fast And Now One Of Us Has To Go Before Class Ends

Entering The Fray: Led Zeppelin Has Reunited To Release A Diss Track Aimed At Drake

Major Breakthrough: Medical Researchers Just Announced That A 400-Pound Child Simply Ain’t Right

Incredible: Bethesda Revealed That ‘Fallout 76’ Will Show What Earth Would Be Like If The Arizona Diamondbacks Hadn’t Won The 2001 World Series

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding Bethesda’s newly announced game Fallout 76, but we now have one crucial piece of information about the hotly anticipated title. The game will be set in an alternate history where we get to see what the world would look like if the Arizona Diamondbacks did not win the 2001 World Series.

8/22/19

1:05 PM

Nature’s Perfect Design: Scientists Believe That Studying Woodpeckers Could Totally Revolutionize The Way We Bash Trees Apart With Our Heads To Find Bugs

8/21/19

1:00 PM

‘Just Look At It, There’s No Way That’s Healthy’: The American Medical Association Has Announced That Our Bodies Definitely Shouldn’t Be Producing Feces

8/15/19

3:05 PM

Efficiency Win! All The Major Fried Chicken Chains Have Collectively Agreed To Start Selling Fried Pelican Instead Of Chicken Because They Can Just Find Pelicans For Free Outside

8/14/19

11:35 AM

Efficiency Win! The Dalai Lama Has Announced That His Dentist’s 30-Year-Old Son Is The Reincarnation of Him And Should Just Take Over As Dalai Lama After He Dies

8/13/19

12:30 PM

An ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape Of His Own: A Decade-Old Recording Just Leaked Of Bernie Sanders Telling Billy Bush That He Hates Sexual Intercourse Because There Are Too Many Odors

8/8/19

2:00 PM

Incredible Breakthrough: Researchers At The Mayo Clinic Have Successfully Switched A Man With A Moose

7/24/19

9:00 AM

Ruthless Recruitment Tactics: ISIS Is Offering New Members A Free Canvas Tote Bag When They Join For A Year

7/18/19

9:30 AM

Lifestyle7/18/19

Lifestyle7/18/19

The Master At Her Canvas: Mom Just Brought In A Pretty Average-Looking Rock From The Woods That She Says She Will Use In A ‘Project’

6/14/19

2:50 PM

National Security Crisis: President Trump’s New Ponytail Is Stuck In The White House Fax Machine After He Tried To Fax An Image Of It To Xi Jinping To Make Him Jealous

6/13/19

1:15 PM

Incredible Breakthrough: MIT Scientists Have Successfully Swapped The Brain Of A Man With An Almond

6/3/19

1:20 PM

A Chance For Diplomacy: The U.S. State Department Is Hoping President Trump Can Convince Queen Elizabeth To Stop Developing Nuclear Weapons In Her Attic

6/3/19

12:48 AM

Part Of The 1%: Bernie Sanders Is Tanking In The Polls After A DNA Test Revealed That He’s King

5/15/19

9:00 AM

Well-Deserved Break: After All His Hard Work, Robert Mueller Is Relaxing By Writing A Report About Himself

5/14/19

12:50 PM

Urgent Health Warning: The Surgeon General Has Issued A Reminder To Parents That No Amount Of Vegetables Can Stop Their Children’s Heads From Rocketing Off Their Bodies And Into The Sky

5/9/19

3:10 PM

Heartwarming: The Yakuza And The Harlem Globetrotters Set Aside Their Differences To Film A PSA Against Texting While Driving

5/8/19

12:00 PM

Death With Dignity: Temple Grandin Has Developed A New Mechanical Restraint System For Humanely Slaughtering Cap’n Crunch

5/6/19

2:20 PM

Compelling Message: Bernie Sanders Has Asked Voters To Consider That, Adjusted For Age, He Is More Sexually Attractive Than Beto O’Rourke

5/1/19

10:00 AM

National Security Crisis: The White House Is In Panic Mode After President Trump Tweeted ‘Karate Dave Is Coming To Kill Me’

4/30/19

10:50 AM

Gotta Pay The Bills: PBS Just Got Really Desperate During A Pledge Drive And Offered Up One Night Of Passion With Thomas The Tank Engine

4/19/19

12:30 PM

Major Blunder: Jimmy Carter Just Accidentally Built An ESPN Zone Instead Of A Habitat For Humanity House And Everyone Had To Act Like That Was The Plan All Along

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