All right, science fans, get ready for literally the coolest news you’ll hear all day!
NASA officials announced today that they’re developing a rover that will land on Pluto and spray milk all over its surface by the year 2040!
According to scientists at a press conference this morning, the mission of the rover, which NASA has named Orpheus, is to land on Pluto to assess the geological and atmospheric composition of the enigmatic dwarf planet, collect data on nearby celestial bodies, and violently dispense large quantities of milk in all directions.
To complete its mission, the rover will be equipped with a mounted camera, thousands of gallons of milk, dozens of milk-dispensing hoses, and a robotic arm for collecting and analyzing surface samples.
As soon as the rover lands on Pluto, it will use its camera to establish a visual link with mission control so that NASA can closely monitor Pluto’s landscape. Orpheus will then deploy dozens of hoses, which will begin spinning rapidly as the rover fires a steady stream of milk across the surface of the distant dwarf planet. The rover’s milk hoses will spin rapidly in order to ensure that milk gets sprayed all over the place!
This morning, NASA officials issued the following statement on their website about the Orpheus rover’s long-term goals:
Announcing The Orpheus Rover:
As part of NASA’s mission to explore the furthest reaches of our universe and to understand humankind’s place in the vastness of the cosmos, the Orpheus rover will journey to Pluto to squirt milk all over the place. The rover will get the surface of Pluto all wet with milk, and we’re pleased to announce that the milk will freeze in fun shapes and patterns due to Pluto’s sub-zero temperatures.
Furthermore, if we’re not alone in the universe, we hope that extraterrestrial civilizations find the milk and think the milk is good. It is our greatest hope that any alien beings who find the oceans of milk we deposit on Pluto see the milk and say, “Here is milk at last.”
Many people are worried that the extraterrestrial life forms might try to drink the milk, and in order to ensure that this does not happen, we have written the message “Please Do Not Drink This Delicious White Milk” on the front of the rover.
The milk will be a mixture of cow’s milk and goat’s milk. Thank you.
Of course, the day Orpheus will finally flood Pluto with milk is still years away, and the operation is incredibly complicated. Until then, NASA says it will spend time perfecting the technology, conducting further research, harvesting thousands of gallons of milk from dairy farms across America, and waiting for perfect astronomical conditions to allow the rover to make a safe flight.
It will be a long journey, but we can’t wait for 2040, when the Orpheus rover finally reaches Pluto and drenches it in milk! We’ll be sure to keep you updated as new information becomes available.