Because All Content Deserves To Go Viral.
Because All Content Deserves To Go Viral.
Illustration for article titled EXCLUSIVE: Features Of Amazon’s New Smartphone

Move over iPhone, there’s a new kid in town! Slated to arrive July 25th, the Amazon Fire Phone will be the first smartphone released by Amazon. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the features they haven’t yet made public.

  • Exclusive Margaret Atwood-themed Emojis: Special collection of over 35 emojis, based entirely on facial expressions of the acclaimed Canadian novelist and poet.
  • Mint Coating: Entire outside of phone lightly coated in minty glaze for casual licking.
  • Sticky Screen: Screen specially engineered to remain sticky even after extended use.
  • Exclusive function that makes dialing 911 take user directly to the homepage: Comes standard in every phone.
  • Single-bullet chamber: Pre-loaded with one hollow-point bullet.
  • Prehensile tail (vestigial): Feature widely expected to disappear in future generations of the Amazon Fire Phone.

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