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EXCLUSIVE: Features Of Amazon’s New Smartphone

Move over iPhone, there’s a new kid in town! Slated to arrive July 25th, the Amazon Fire Phone will be the first smartphone released by Amazon. Here’s a sneak peak at some of the features they haven’t yet made public.

Exclusive Margaret Atwood-themed Emojis: Special collection of over 35 emojis, based entirely on facial expressions of the acclaimed Canadian novelist and poet.

Mint Coating: Entire outside of phone lightly coated in minty glaze for casual licking.

Sticky Screen: Screen specially engineered to remain sticky even after extended use.

Exclusive function that makes dialing 911 take user directly to the Amazon.com homepage: Comes standard in every phone.

Single-bullet chamber: Pre-loaded with one hollow-point bullet.

Prehensile tail (vestigial): Feature widely expected to disappear in future generations of the Amazon Fire Phone.