For an organization that’s primarily recognized for its highly exclusive membership requirements, Mensa just proved that it’s as open-minded and forward-thinking a society as its high IQs would suggest: Mensa is now offering full membership to dumbasses who smell amazing.
Yes!!! This is what progress looks like.
Starting with its next round of testing, the high-IQ nonprofit will officially open its doors to wonderful-smelling dumbasses for the first time in its 71-year history. Those who score in the 98th percentile of the intelligence test will continue to be accepted into Mensa as per usual, but now, the organization will take the bottom fifth percentile of applicants aside and take a good whiff of them. Should any of those halfwits reek in a way that is immensely pleasurable to the olfactory senses, Mensa officials will grant them membership on the spot.
“Mensa is proud to provide a home for both the most brilliant intellects humanity has to offer and the absolute stupidest diphshits you have ever met who just so happen to smell really good,” Mensa said in a statement released earlier today. “Whether they smell like lilacs or a ‘clean forest’ smell, Mensa is honored to welcome these slack-jawed morons who somehow figured out how to clean themselves to not smell like a rotting hog carcass that’s been out in the sun for three days.”
It should be noted that if you possess average or above-average intelligence and smell absolutely marvelous, that won’t be enough to get in if you don’t meet the organization’s minimum IQ of 130. On the other hand, if you have an IQ of 155 but smell like microwaved liquid dog shit, this inclusive new measure will in no way harm your Mensa eligibility.
Incredible. Just think of how many doors this is going to open for fantastic-smelling, dumb-as-nails mouth breathers across the world.
Some of the brightest minds in the whole world belong to Mensa, and now, thanks to some progressive thinking on the organization’s part, so will some of the world’s dumbest and most delicious-smelling people. Bravo, Mensa!