Prepare to have your mind blown, because a medical procedure that was once the stuff of science fiction has finally become science fact: MIT scientists have successfully swapped the brain of a man with an almond.

This is an incredible milestone for medical science!

At 4:38 this morning, a team of neuroscientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology emerged from an operating room after 22 grueling hours of non-stop surgery to announce that they had successfully replaced a man’s brain with a single dry-roasted almond for the first time in history. The high-risk procedure required engineers to develop a computer-guided apparatus to insert the almond at the exact moment the brain was removed, and the new technology’s success means that it could potentially be used to one day replace a human brain with a chestnut or even a cashew. A team of doctors in China came close to replacing a man’s brain with an almond in 2017, but that procedure failed after one of the doctors got hungry and ate the almond before it could be placed in the patient’s skull.

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“From plopping the patient’s brain into the wastebasket to finding a suitable replacement almond, every aspect of the surgery went off without a hitch,” said Dr. Grigory Zubov, the MIT neurologist who helmed the groundbreaking procedure. “The moment I heard the almond rattling around inside the patient’s otherwise completely empty skull, I knew we had just made history.”

MRIs have confirmed that the almond has successfully remained in place since the surgery’s completion, and while the 34-year-old patient who received the almond implant has yet to return to consciousness, he will undoubtedly wake with a big smile on his face due to the happiness he is feeling over his new brain. This first successful operation took a serious investment of time and resources, but as the technology progresses, hospitals all over the world might soon be able to throw your brain in the trash and put a good, salty almond in there instead.

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Amazing!

It’s things like this that make you realize that we’re truly living in the future. Congrats to MIT on their incredible success, and here’s hoping this life-changing procedure can be used to replace thousands more people’s brains with almonds in the coming years!

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