Well, it looks like the Guinness Book will have to make an update! Elizabeth Carter, the woman with the world’s largest breasts and longest fingernails, just became the oldest woman in the world.
Wow. What an amazing person.
Let’s do some quick math. Elizabeth was born way back on April 14, 1899 in Kansas City, MO. By the time she graduated from college in 1923, she was 24 years old. In 1965, she was 66 as she marched to support the civil rights movement. In 1972, at age 73, she set the record for longest fingernails, a record she’s held for more than 40 years!
She’s seen a lot in her time: two world wars, the birth of the automobile, and the growth of her breasts to their current 70-inch diameter and 89-pound weight.
And now she’s got another feather in her cap as the oldest living person on the planet. How about that for overachieving?
Sadly, her husband, the shortest man in the world with the largest penis in the world, passed away in 1976. At the funeral, which had more Olympians in attendance than any other funeral on record, Elizabeth set the record for the longest speech ever given, as well as the record for largest champagne tower.
Though Elizabeth can no longer polish her 19-foot fingernails on her own, her record 62 sons and daughters give her more than enough help. She also has the company of her 367 great-grandchildren—which include the world’s fattest child and the child with the longest hair—to ensure that her house will be filled with joy for the rest of her days.
Hats off to you, Elizabeth! You’ve made your mark on the history books once again. Now go out and celebrate—you’ve earned it!