The art world has its fair share of cherished works, but some pieces are in a category of their own. Art lovers, pay attention: The napkin that David Hyde Pierce used this morning is coming to this maniac’s shrine to David Hyde Pierce.
This is huge.
The napkin is a monumental addition to the already exhaustive and totally unhinged collection owned and maintained by 34-year-old Malcolm Highland. It will be kept on top of a stained dresser that contains the lunatic’s extensive archives of magazine clippings and pictures he secretly took of David Hyde Pierce, all part of what is widely considered to be the most complete collection of batshit-insane Hyde Pierce memorabilia in the world. This exciting new item was acquired by Highland from the floor of a New York City café after he tailed Pierce for several days, and although he faced some competition from a barista who was sweeping the floor, this psycho ultimately won this prize for his personal estate.
Highland’s personal altar to David Hyde Pierce boasts pieces as early as a plastic cup that was carefully collected from dumpsters outside of the Frasier lot in 1994, and it’s clear that the jam-stained napkin belongs in this nutcase’s collection. Some of his most prized acquisitions include paint that he scraped off of a railing that Pierce once touched, a rare framed copy of the floor plan of Pierce’s childhood home, and a vial containing skin flakes Highland extracted from under his own fingernails after he got close enough to scratch the actor’s arm at the 2001 premiere of Osmosis Jones, an incident that earned him a severe restraining order.
Now this is what an amazing collection looks like.
Naturally, security around the shrine is constant, and Highland defends it with a shotgun all night. Though it suffered some water damage several years ago when a pipe burst after he nailed a picture of the Frasier cast with all the faces cut out except for Hyde Pierce’s, the majority of this maniac’s archives are in good condition. And thank god for that—we’re looking forward to seeing the incredible additions that make their way to this lunatic’s David Hyde Pierce altar in the future!