Holy shit, some truly fucked-up chaos has transpired in the living room. Instead of asking for help adjusting the volume, Grandma went to fucking town on the remote and ended up doing an absolute number on the TV settings.
Jesus Christ, Grandma. What have you done?
Here’s what we know so far: Grandma was watching her favorite show, Long Island Medium, and wanted to turn up the volume, but instead of just asking someone for help with the remote, she threw caution to the wind and just started pressing buttons. That seems to have sent her off on a chaotic journey across multiple TV display menus, which resulted in her somehow turning everything a deep shade of purple and shrinking the size of the frame to a small box in the center of the screen. By the time it came to anyone’s attention that Grandma had inadvertently reprogrammed the TV, it was too late. The damage had been done.
Whatever unthinkable combination of buttons Grandma pressed to open up this window to hell on this 52-inch flat-screen TV remains unknown, but no combination known to man is capable of closing it.
In her quest to increase the volume on the TV, Grandma also seems to have somehow zoomed in 40 percent on the picture, changed the aspect ratio such that the frame is now extremely wide and short, and turned on Russian subtitles while simultaneously changing the language of the settings menus to Korean—a move that has more or less doomed any hope of restoring the TV to its original settings. It also looks like she managed to accidentally purchase Armageddon 15 times on pay-per-view and DVR’d over 20 hours of W. Kamau Bell’s United Shades Of America, filling the TV’s data storage to capacity and slowing down its operating speed to an unbearable trickle. And after all that, Grandma had the fucking gall to ask someone to fix it.
Grandma, not even God himself could undo whatever devastation you have inflicted upon the TV settings. And to think this could have all been avoided if you’d just asked for help with the remote.
The one silver lining of this whole thing is that it looks like Grandma did inadvertently manage to get rid of that annoying clock that was always in the corner of the screen for some reason, but whatever she did to get rid of the clock just ended up replacing it with some sort of LCD thermometer and a live graph of the Shanghai Stock Exchange. So, yeah, the TV is pretty much fucked.
Thanks a lot, Grandma. Maybe ask for help next time before you reduce the TV to an unwatchable luminescent box with your free-jazz remote stylings.
