Must See3/20/183/20/1810:49 AMMust See3/20/18Must SeeUnbelievably Rare: This Is The First Vernal Equinox To Fall On The Blu-Ray And DVD Release Date Of ‘Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle’
News3/19/183/19/183:59 PMNews3/19/18NewsPrivacy Win! Facebook Is Adding A ‘Protect My Data’ Button That Does Nothing But Feels Good To Press
News3/16/183/16/182:44 PMNews3/16/18NewsEnvironmentalism FTW: NASCAR Is Cutting Down On Emissions By Replacing All The Race Cars With A Single Bus That Drivers Share
News3/16/183/16/181:09 PMNews3/16/18NewsHeartwarming: When This Restaurant Saw A Lonely Old Man Eating Across From A Photo Of His Dead Wife, They Gave Him A Way-Hotter Photo Of Carmen Electra
News3/16/183/16/1811:49 AMNews3/16/18NewsEnd Of An Era: The Yakuza Has Announced That It is Switching From Committing Crimes To Babysitting
News3/15/183/15/184:03 PMNews3/15/18NewsGenetic Mystery: Spending A Year In Space Has Left Astronaut Scott Kelly With A Much Funnier Way Of Saying ‘Check, Please!’ Than His Identical Twin Brother
News3/14/183/14/183:25 PMNews3/14/18NewsDoing His Part: To Support The High School Students Walking Out Today, Logan Paul Has Postponed His Epic School-Shooter Prank
Must See3/13/183/13/182:33 PMMust See3/13/18Must SeeHeartbreaking: Rex Tillerson Has Spent The Morning Boxing Up All The Oil In His State Department Office
News3/13/183/13/1811:37 AMNews3/13/18NewsSomeone’s Getting Fired! Some Hapless Bozo At This Opioid Company Accidentally Implemented A Business Model That Incentivizes Profit Over Public Safety
News3/13/183/13/1811:35 AMNews3/13/18NewsAbsolutely Beautiful: Last Night Beyoncé Performed A Moving Duet Of ‘Crazy In Love’ With A Hologram Of John Candy
News3/12/183/12/1811:21 AMNews3/12/18NewsBreaking The Cycle Of Addiction: Heineken Has Unveiled New Bottles With Extra-Long Necks To Give Alcoholics Time To Think About All The People They’re Letting Down
News3/9/183/9/1812:33 PMNews3/9/18NewsPlaying Cupid: Barron Trump Tricked Donald Trump And Stormy Daniels Into Showing Up To The Same Romantic Dinner In Hopes They Get Back Together
Must See3/9/183/9/1812:05 PMMust See3/9/18Must SeeReform At Last: After The Parkland Shooting This Florida Gun Store Changed Its Sign From “GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!” To “Guns. Guns. Guns.”
News3/8/183/8/185:28 PMNews3/8/18NewsIncredible Discovery: Scientists Are 99% Certain That The Bones They Found On A Pacific Island Belonged To Either Amelia Earhart Or Jesus Christ
News3/8/183/8/1811:43 AMNews3/8/18NewsUnlocking The Past: Ancestry.com Now Tells You Which Of Your Ancestors Were So Hot It Would’ve Been Pretty Hard To Resist Committing Incest With Them
News3/8/183/8/1811:14 AMNews3/8/18NewsPublic Health Win! Purdue Pharma Has Released A New Type Of Oxycontin To Help Ease The Pain Of Losing A Loved One To Oxycontin
News3/7/183/7/184:36 PMNews3/7/18NewsAbsolutely Beautiful: When These 8th-Graders Found Out Their Teacher Had Eczema, They Raised The $200,000 Stud Fee For His Dog To Have Sex With Legendary Racehorse American Pharoah
News3/7/183/7/1811:47 AMNews3/7/18NewsTough But Fair: This Teacher Confiscated A School Shooter’s AR-15 For The Rest Of The Day
News3/5/183/5/185:39 PMNews3/5/18NewsTaking Him Under His Wing: After The Oscars Ceremony Last Night, Daniel Day-Lewis Pulled Timothée Chalamet Aside And Counted To 1,000
News3/5/183/5/182:02 PMNews3/5/18NewsMissed Our Oscars Live-Tweet Last Night? Here Are 15 Tweets That Sum The Night Up Perfectly