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Incredibly Kind: This Coroner Says That Everyone’s Cause Of Death is ‘Having Sex’

Sometimes, it can take just the smallest act of kindness to restore your faith in humanity. Lance Messinger, the chief coroner for Kane County, IL, practices those small acts of kindness on a daily basis: Lance writes “Having sex” as the cause of death on every death certificate he fills out, no matter how that person actually died. Inspiring!

As a coroner, Lance sees people who have died in ways that are either embarrassing, tragic, or pretty boring, so he uses his powers as county coroner as a force for good by altering the undignified, unexciting cause of death to “Having incredible sex” or “Fucking too hard.”

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Lance says that this is just his way of giving back to his community:

“One time, I had to fill out the death certificate of a high school student who had tragically died in a car accident,” he says. “When I told his parents that he had died from porking up a storm with the hottest girl around, his grief-stricken parents broke down in tears and started high-fiving each other. I knew that I had made a difference.”

Incredible. Just take a look at some of the death certificates Lance Messinger has filled out recently. We guarantee that they’re the most uplifting and inspiring things you’ll see today:

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Wow. Maybe one day we’ll live in a world where everyone’s official cause of death is having sex so good it ruins our minds and rips our souls out of our bodies. Until then, it’s good to know there are people like Lance Messinger working hard to make a difference!

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